1879-1946, American Actor
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
W. C. Fields – [Money]
I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
W. C. Fields – [Prejudice]
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
W. C. Fields – [Alcohol and Alcoholism]
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
W. C. Fields – [Alcohol and Alcoholism]
I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
W. C. Fields – [Elections]
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
W. C. Fields – [Cities and City Life]
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
W. C. Fields – [Alcohol and Alcoholism]
My heart is a bargain today. Will you take it?
W. C. Fields – [Price]
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields – [Abstinence]
Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
W. C. Fields – [Life and Living]
Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W. C. Fields – [Acting and Actors]
Somebody left the cork out of my lunch.
W. C. Fields – [Alcohol and Alcoholism]
Start off everyday with a simple smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields – [Smile]
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
W. C. Fields – [Alcohol and Alcoholism]
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive.
W. C. Fields – [World]
W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.
W. C. Fields – [Bible]
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
W. C. Fields – [Alcohol and Alcoholism]